The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

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OK. So the other day I went to the movies. Alone cuz i got no friends. Anyway, I really wanted to see this fascinating Hobbit flick cuz you know, I like small people. Just kidding of course, I only took my caucasian ass to the theatre for the ‘Star Trek Trek Into Darkness’ 9 minute preview. An awesomely awesome preview I might add witch featured some breathtaking visuals, top-notch acting, state of the art CGI and Michael Giacchino’s auditive orgasm. Easily my next year’s most anticipated film. However, they had this wonderful idea to show the preview AFTER the Hobbit’s end credits. What does it mean ? Well it means I had to painfully sit through this boring 3 hour pathetic excuse for movie. Now obviously, since i’m a connoisseur, I treated myself to an IMAX slash 3D slash 48fps projection. Cuz you know, it’s always better to have twice as many images or frames or whatever it’s called. Well, actually no. Though the image might be seem clearer and more detailed (oh yeah, most def noticed gandalfs lenses), it didn’t really feel natural. The moves seemed accelerated and most annoyingly, it felt like I was watching a PBS documentary. Apparently it’s supposed to ‘enhance the experience’… well apart from enhancing wrinkles and skin cracks, i’m not really sure what it does… Now I’m all for new technologies and stuff, but Peter Jackson can go fuck himself with his high frame rate bullshit. James Cameron can also fuck himself big time since he apparently has the even worse idea to make ‘Avatar 2’ not in 48fps, but in 60fps !! OH LORD… Now, sure there were some nice moments like the landscapes or Freeman’s acting. but overall this movie is boring as fuck. Also, Gandalf’s always saving everyone at the last second. That really irritated me.

So yeah, The Hobbit sucks ass. Also, no naked girlz which is a disappointment.

D-

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