OK So the other day I got to see Maniac. Now you may ask how I managed to watch it since it hasn’t been released yet  (except at some pompous pseudo elitist festival in Chicago). Anyway, let’s say I managed to acquire a copy in a somewhat unconventional manner. A bit like sleeping with the director’s wife/gf (which really is IMHO the only reason one would ever copulate with Alex Aja’s disgusting pathetic excuse for a wife) except that’s not the case cuz, well, the Lord hasn’t been very generous in creating my manly attributes.

Now, about Maniac. I have to admit these Frenchies really know how to make movies, or at least they know how to make remakes of movies that don’t totally suck ass. Maniac has plenty of blood and gore to satisfy my Dexterly needs, plenty of lovely round breasts to satisfy my loner virgin needs and plenty of heavy breathing which does not satisfy any need of mine but is simply awesome thanks to Elijah Wood’s MAGNIFICENT performance. A performance that makes us forget all the shortcomings of this flick. Like that stupid Frog actress (Nora Arnesomethingwhycantshehaveanormalname) who can’t act for shit. Like all the other actors as a matter of fact. From the gayman Martin Nunez, to the cliché big black guy (Anna’s bf) it seems like all of the budget went into securing Elijah Wood as the lead. Cuz it seriously look like they didn’t have any money left to get some other decent actors. Which is kind of ironic since we barely see Elijah Wood at all… thanks to the POV we only get glimpses of his cute face in reflections and stuff. But don’t get me wrong, I like the fact that they decided to film Maniac in POV. It is an interesting artistic choice which helps set it apart from the ’80s original Maniac. I also like the score which reminded me of the movie Drive.

All in all, Maniac is an entertaining film which has a lot going for it despite lacking credible secondary actors, basic character building and also… a plot. But hey, I for one am not complaining about Aja’s ‘blood & gore coupled with hot chicks’ recipe.

Overall, [B+] thanks to the massive amount of b00bies.


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