The Master

TheMaster-withBilling-R4-jpg_202827-1OK now, I’m all for intellectually challenging movies, especially when PTA’s involved. But I have to admit, although it sort of blew my mind in a sense, I was still a bit disappointed on a few points.

Firstly, the nudity. I never refuse girls dancing around fully naked, especially since it’s the 50s they don’t shave their cunts like the bitches do today. But in this case, the nakedness was simply unbearable. Why ? Cuz instead of having hot girlz fooling around, they chose the more arty ugly/fat/granny combo. Seriously, saggy tits are not appealing at all. Also, Joaquin Phoenix is banging some disgusting fatty English cunt… Even the sand woman was hotter. NOT good.

Secondly, Jesse Plemons. We barely see Matt Damon’s doppelganger at all. Also, he seems to have put on some weight. NOT good.

Thirdly, Amy Adams. She’s still cute and I enjoyed the scene in which she gives a handjob but omagad she looks soooooo old in this film. NOT good.

Now, it’s not all bad, there are a plenty of positive aspects. I like the fact that they shot it on 70mm, gives it a more authentic look and really brings out the 40’s/50’s feel. The cinematography was magnificent, the scenes beautifully shot. Then there’s the acting. Philip Seymour Hoffman, Amy Adams and Joaquin Phoenix were all fabulously convincing and full of nuance (especially when the latter fingers the sand woman. HAWT.) But I was most impressed by Amy Adams. If I may quote a fellow reviewer, ‘the nuance and layers of conflicting emotions she conveys in almost every scene is something to behold’. She really gives a performance of great depth. They were also lots of funny moments. Granted, I’m still trying to figure what this movie’s about but even if I cannot yet comprehend all it’s complexity and subtlety, I do feel it is lacking a certain je ne sais quoi to make it a real masterpiece. But maybe I’m wrong, maybe it’s the greatest movie of all time. Maybe it’s also pretentious and overrated. I don’t know, and that’s a good thing. Makes me want to watch it again.

No rating this time, could go anywhere between an A++ and a D.

the-master09Amy Adams, the masterbater.